GI Joe Has Sex At Gitmo; Jihadist Swear Vengeance

Well, after three years of trying to catch the military in some sort of abuse at Gitmo in Free Cuba (that's what I call the few square miles we hold), the Associated Pinheads have an article with the title screaming: Four Investigated For GITMO Sex Misconduct.

In this article you will find that military officers have *gasp* had sex with military officers and civilian contractors of the opposite sex who were not their wives.

Shocking, I know.

Somewhere in an apartment off the Rue St. John, some guy named Ahmed Not bin Laid saw this title and began planning his revenge with his terrorist cell associates:

Ahmed Not bin Laid: Aaaiieeee! Mahmood bin Badr! Did you see this? I told you those American dogs are evil. They are having sex at GITMO and probably not even giving our brothers in arms a reach around. I will report this on the Jihads R Us website. We will make them pay! Allahu Akbar!

Mahmood bin Badr: Er...my friend Not bin Laid, you should read the article before you post it. They are not having sex with the prisoners. They are having sex with other soldiers.

Ahmed Not bin Laid: Oh...That is even worse. What kind of torture is this that the guards have sex and our men cannot even see the 13 year old brides we stole...er...kidnapped...um obtained for them in the remote villages of Afghanistan and Pakistan? Quickly. We have no time to waste. At this rate, the Americans will have had our wives, too.
Mahmood bin Badr: Now that you mention it, I was wondering why your son kept shouting "1, 2, 3, 4...I love the Marine Corp.

Ahmed Not bin Laid: It is a Zionist plot to take over the world!!!!

Stay tuned next week when the Associated Pinheads scoop the rest of the world press with, "George Bush Is White, Christian Male From Texas".