News Flash For Pessimists: IRAQ IS FREE!Happy New Year

Well, I'm not linking up to any big stories here and I'm interrupting my daily foray into personal story telling to talk about something so damned obvious, it almost cracks me up every time I get on a blog site owned by FREE IRAQIS and see some dipshit from the nether world of ignoramuses spouting some bullshit about "failure of Iraq", the "impending civil war", polls that say they hate America, hate Allawi, the terrorists are winning, the vote won't go forward, Iraq is Viet Nam, Americans are killing Iraqis by the thousands daily, Iraq will be the next Afghanistan under the Taliban, etc, etc, etc.

I was reading at Iraq The Model today, where the brothers had put up a "Happy New Years" post and there, right in the middle of everyone wishing the brothers a happy new year was this British jackass spouting off some crap about war crimes, deaths of civilians, illegal wars, yadda, yadda, yadda. Do I have to print it all here for you to get the picture?

I started laughing. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to bust a gut. This is right after I just went around the blog world and read about ten new Iraqi blogs that showed up in the last 20-45 days. I'm sure there's more, this just happens to be the ones I know of starting up. Not to count the endless number of blogs, only a few of which I have posted on my side bar, that have been out there for over a year or have cropped up in the last year. From Kurdistan to Samara, Iraqis are logging on the computer and saying what they've got to say.

You know what that means? For the dumbasses that can't think logically, it means...

FREEDOM!

You shitheads. Pull your heads out of your asses. You ever read an Iraqi blog while Saddam was in charge? You ever even read a Raed, Khalid or Majid Jarrar blog during the reign of that slimy bastard that has the blood of hundreds of thousands' on his hands?

The shear lunacy of some shithead showing up on the blog of Iraqis who not only post about how wonderful it is to be free, even with the stupid assholes running around blowing shit up, how much they want democracy, how thankful they are that America came and saved them, their family and the Iraqis in general from more years of oppression, torture and murder AND have started their own political party AND fucking live there, live it every day, has got to be the most ignorant, bizarre, insane, delusional action of the entire loon world running around with their heads so far up their asses they have to unbutton their Tommy you know who knock off shirts made in a Chinese sweatshop in order to see their computer screen.

Let me tell you something, Iraq is free, will you nil you, you fucking morons. Yes, I'm cursing. Yeah, I've heard it before about the intellectual capacity of people that use curse words, but, frankly, since I'm addressing the shit for brains that are doing this kind of bullshit on a daily basis, I figure I have to get down to their level for them to understand. That level being a sophomore numbnut whose world view is about as "progressive" as a fucking larvae on the stinking, bloated carcass of a rats ass in the sewers of Paris, France on the hottest day of summer.

Let's not forget the media news sources. Some headbanging wake up calls for you, too. Tell me, oh great naysayers of gloom and doom, the watchers of your own inanity, were you ever, I repeat, ever able to go to Iraq and interview any Iraqi without first putting on your best red lipstick and kissing the ass of every bureaucrat in the eastern hemisphere before even getting into Iraq, then slavering your tongue from toe to asshole up Saddam's unholy, lice infested body and then being monitored by a guy that wouldn't mind making you disappear for the price of a scoop of camel dung, BEFORE Iraq was liberated?

Didn't think so.

You know what that's called?

FREEDOM!

I can hear Mel Gibson's voice from Brave Heart echoing it even now.

Now you media types who never feared before to go into a blood bath war zone with your cameras and your pencils have abdicated your place in the world as reporters by holing up in the Green Zone, paying some Iraqi guy or other nationality to go around filming whatever, taking it, snipping it into pieces until all that exists are explosions and proclaiming yourselves the "truth tellers" about the state of Iraq.

In the words of a very young relative of mine, "You are so yesterday!"

That goes for the ass wipes running around bombing some Iraqi guys just trying to make a living or trying like hell to rebuild their country.

Wake up, you morons, you lost already. Yes, lost, because Iraq is already free. The cat is out of the bag. Democracy, voting, elections, just around the corner. But that freedom began on April 9, 2003, you just didn't know it yet because you were too busy trying to decide what color of dishdash to wear when you threw yourselves on the martyrdom sword. Yeah, it is true martyrdom, that of martyrs for lost causes. Now you are nothing but murderers as you proclaimed the rest of the world to be.

By the way, for all those idiot families who offered your son, brother, husband to martyrdom to fight the evil, imperialistic capitalists for the price of a paycheck, you lost already, too. Why? The minute you accepted the check you became...drum roll please...

Evil capitalists!

Yes, you sold your sons' lives for a dollar and then you went and used that dollar to buy a house, buy clothes, buy food, all of those horrible capitalistic things that are supplied by horrid capitalist companies. You probably even ate at McDonald's with it, bought a capitalist cell phone, a television, all the lovely capitalistic cultural icons that you blame for the decay of your culture. Look in your own pocket book. What is more "evil capitalist" than selling your sons' souls for that dinar or dollar?

Now, I laugh. I almost can't stop laughing because we didn't just win in Iraq, we are winning every damned day. Every time money from these activities gets spent, every time even one bullet is bought, one tea kettle, one phone, one pair of shoes, you can bet your sweet Ibn Battuti that a piece, a dime, something, came from, went through, or came to America. Because that's the way global economies work...suckers!

I know, I'm letting the cat out of the bag here, but I just couldn't help myself. It's New Years Eve. The New Year is upon us and people are still worrying about what will happen to Iraq and the Middle East.

No worries, mate. It may be the slowest and most underground victory ever seen, but victory it is. Capitalist democracies strike again and eventually, the whole damned world will be full of people with their latest capitalistic iconic gadget, bulging from their pockets, sitting on their TV stand, on their kitchen counters, in their driveway, on their desks, in their little "I want to be a socialist" briefcase, somewhere for all the world to see.

And, whether it says "Made in Japan", "Made in China", "Made in India", "Made in Afghanistan", or "Made in America", made where ever, it is part of the greater global capitalist conspiracy to take over the world. You lose, we win.

Isn't freedom grand?

Happy New Year!