Gays In the Military: Because I Want To Say What I Want To Say...

Over at Blackfive, we continue to wreck the joint with a lively discussion about Gays in the military. Actually, it's a pretty civil discussion which is why I decided to bring part of it over here because I want to say what I want to say and I know it would be discourteous of me to really wreck Blackfive's joint if I let loose with it.

Also, I may (or may not) shock my conservative friends with my position on "gays in the military".

So, I want to deal with one of the really funny parts of the conversation over at Five's place. First, let me say this:

Bwaahahahahahahahahaha!

I have never seen so many stereo types about gays AND women being flung around. I think you can always tell those who have had no contact with people who are gay. Or, at least do not acknowledge any such contact.

One of the commenters keeps talking about letting gays in the military will bring the "gay lifestyle" into the military. This gay life style includes bath houses and Fire Island orgies, to name a few of his concerns. I'm calling this one out specifically because I just can't figure out how barracks life and deployment is going to allow this "gay lifestyle" to come out. Now, don't get me wrong, because I have been inside a guys room at the dormitory on an AFB and I'm well aware of the proclivity to party in young people, but what I recall is that, when the weekend or time off came around, these young men (and women) were eager to get off base and go do their partying somewhere else if they could. If they couldn't, I'm also aware that these folks would party between rooms, but there was still a certain limit or line because nobody wanted the MPs to come around and being drunk and disorderly on base could get you in deep doo doo.

Still, I'm trying to figure out how this will suddenly be different or more sinister if gays were serving openly.

Please note I say "openly" because it is common knowledge that gays and lesbians serve right now, they just aren't offered any protection and can be discharged for being gay or lesbian. I suspect that being allowed to serve openly would increase, by some small degree, the number of gays or lesbians actually serving. However, I believe that there is an irrational fear that suddenly the military will be inundated with these folks who are looking to re-create the 70's version of bathhouse frolicks in the barracks or dormitories because suddenly there will be an inordinate amount of male (or female) flesh available to them.

I'm sorry, but this is still cracking me up. Mainly because I think those that would even consider serving for this reason alone would mostly wash out in basic or not even get past the recruiter. Since gays are still not totally accepted through out society, my guess is that the folks that would join would remain pretty circumspect in their behavior, at least on base. What they do off base is nobody's business, just as it is nobody's business what a straight guy or girl does as long as it does not result in getting an STD, using drugs or getting arrested for a variety of reasons (all applicable to gays).

Still, I can't get over this irrational fear of the "gay" culture suddenly exploding in the military. We know that other countries have gays serving openly and I question whether any of these have suffered a meltdown because of it (it may even be helping them since some of these countries can't float an expeditionary unit, much less an entire army, but I digress).

I also question what other sort of "gay culture" these folks are expecting to see pop up. Color coordinated uniforms? Demands for olive drab feather boas?

Another commenter talks about the "gay agenda". What is that agenda please? Don't harass them? Don't beat them up because their gay? Don't discriminate?

Yes, I'm aware that there is a push to recognize gay marriages and adoption of children. My only reservations have been about children because I don't know if the few cases we know about represents a good cross section of the effect, but I don't want to go there. The only reason this comes out is because people fear recognizing gays in one area means that we will have to recognize all other aspects of the question.

The question is, does being gay mean you can't be a soldier? I don't mean that legalistically because that is the technical point of the argument, but I mean that as in the personality question.

Another fear is that communal living will mean that a gay soldier will live or sleep next to straight soldiers, take showers, use the shitter, etc, etc, etc. When I mentioned that fearing men looking at your junk while you were showering was a) homophobic (ie, an irrational fear that another man is sexualizing you) and b) funny as hell because you know damn well men are looking at other men's junk either because it's out there or because, yes, men do compare their junk to others. It's an inescapable fact of life.

What's even funnier is that some of these folks have probably joined health clubs, been in other locker rooms and have been waving their junk around in front of gay men for ages without thinking about it or, at least, knowing about it.

So, suddenly if gay men are serving openly and they are in the shower with straight men, seeing their naked junk and their naked asses, they are going to what? Get a hard on? As if they wouldn't do that while they had their clothes on walking down the street as a civilian. There are two fears associated with homophobia (and yes, I am calling it like I see it - homophobic): a) you secretely fear you might become a homosexual; b) that a homosexual will assault you (ie, rape) if he sees your junk or your bare ass or even sees you fully clothed and you recognize his homosexuality.

Let me say two things in answer to that:

1) Get over yourself.
2) Welcome to the world of women.

I really have no sympathy for this point of view. Women have been sexualized and assaulted for eons yet somehow they are able to get up out of bed every morning, put on their clothes and go about their daily business, including serving in the military without an undue fear of this affecting their ability to perform a variety of duties.

Let me talk about my other favorite part of the "no" argument: unit cohesion and morale. Follow that up with a good dose of "the commander needs to be respected and as a gay he/she would not be respected and leadership would suffer". I love that one because this same argument has been used to exclude all sorts of people from the beginning. No integrated units in the Civil War (unless you count the white leaders and a few extremely limited units). Why? Nobody trusted black men to be brave or capable of understanding or carrying out orders. No black leaders in white units for another 100 years because people with their prejudices just knew that no white man would take orders from a black man and he might even be induced to attack him. No black leaders in all black units because they weren't capable of higher leadership.

Same discussion about women in the military. It's the language of discrimination these days. It's a cheap out so no one has to confront all the other irrational fears. If they can't think of a legal or scientific reason to exclude gays (or women or whomever) then they fall back on "unit cohesion and morale". Well, I love the military, but I do not live under any illusions about one giant conglomerate of people who all self identify like the blonde haired, blue eyes, lockstepping SS swearing undying allegiance to the fuehrer and ready to unthinkingly die?

As a supporter of the military and a person that has associated with it (closely on many occassions), I reject that description on more than one grounds and I reject that description when it comes to this vaunted "unit cohesion and morale". What I recall about these units was that there was always the quiet guy who played dungeons and dragons or read comic books or played Zelda non-stop that the others thought was wierd. There was always the big mouth who did everything and did it better than anybody else that most of the unit avoided hanging out with if they could either on the job (non war time) or during down time. There was the bully. The whiner. The guy that liked to hunt. The one that spent most of his time working on his car. The married guy with two kids. The "separated guy" that was trolling every bar in town. The divorced guy that was getting reamed with child support and was perpetually broke. The mooch. The lazy guy. The snitch. The urban street tough. The rural yolkal. The smart guy. The one with natural leadership. The one with the answers. The shit who always got the shit jobs and nobody wanted to be paired with because he screwed things up. The guy that drank too much. The guy that just did his job. The one that knew how to fix computers. The guy who's girlfriend cheated on him. The guy whose mom called every other day. The homophobe that ws worried every other guy in the unit was staring at his ass (and this is without openly serving gays). The racist guy (I know, shocking, but some do serve). The nice guy who'd do anything for people. The young puppy dog that was constantly following others around trying to "fit in". Etc, etc, etc.

The military comes in all shapes and sizes and, within these units, the band of brothers didn't always love each other like brothers and unit cohesion and morale turned like a dime, sometimes very good and sometimes not so good.

Why? Because the military is not full of drones and droids, but is truly a cross section of our civilian life. How then are they able to function? Because, when it got down to it, all those other parts get pushed to the back and people did their jobs, relied on their training, etc. It wasn't always effecient and there were disciplinary problems. Those were taken care of as they always had been and will always be taken care of. The only time these problems became obstacles that could not be over come is when leadership was lacking or the leadership turned their heads, giving tacit approval to something (that may fall under "lacking leadership").

What people are worried about is not that they will suddenly have a problem with this "cohesion and morale" that they never had before, but that it will add one more thing they have to worry about. As a person that has managed large groups of people, I can completely understand. However, it does not change the reality that we all have things we have to deal with, things that change and things we must add to our list of responsibilities. It neither changes the fact that we are leaders or that we are responsible for getting a job done, thus we must always be prepared to change to accomplish this.

As far as "front line units", let me add another observation about the varied mix and make up of people in these units. First, combat has a way of shaking the dregs to the bottom. If somebody is not fit to serve in combat their sexuality is not going to be the issue, but their ability and fitness. Secondly, I am always surprised that men who have been in combat are worried that some homosexual in the trench next to them is going to be taking time in the middle of a fire fight to admire his ass or some other body part. I've been thinking quite harshly about this since it seems from all writings, anecdotes, videos and other such evidence that if five guys are in a trench, one is gay, and they are being attacked by 20 mujihadeen firing RPGs, AK-47s and other weapons, that the first thing even the gay soldier will be doing and thinking is how to survive, how to protect his fellow soldiers who, if injured or killed greatly diminishes his ability to survive or complete the mission and how best to kill those that are attacking them.

Third, if one soldier in the trench is pre-occupied with the gayness of another soldier with him to the point he is unable to function, defend, attack or complete the mission, who is the problem in this picture?

Now that I've said that, let me conclude with a statement I made at Blackfive's Uncle Jimbo post:

Since I am an adult who has lived for __ years, I am quite aware that the idea of "normalcy" is just that. Underneath all this "normal facade" hides people who entertain all sorts of interesting notions, practice all sorts of behavior that some would call deviant and others may call "expanding their horizons" and many things in between. Since the military IS a cross section of our entire culture, I'm quite certain that this facade and these hidden practices exist within our military. And, yet, it is able to function because of certain ideas and training that transcends these personal proclivities and insures operational ability.

With all due respect, I sometimes feel that I have more respect and confidence in the military and the people serving in it than those that oppose gays. Maybe I am giving it and the people too much credit?