Saturday, April 16, 2005

When I Grow Up...

I want to be Condoleeza Rice. She has got to be one of the smartest women I’ve been privileged to set on eyes on and listen to in this new century.

I caught her on CSPAN last night doing one of those “press relations” gigs at the ASNE 2005 Convention (see C-span website for clip) where everyone sends their reporters to a big conference and a notable person stands up and talks then gives them an opportunity to attack…er…ask them questions en masse.

This lady can cut the legs out from under her adversaries and beat them with the bloody stump, all the while smiling benignly behind the pulpit.

I didn’t catch the whole thing, but the ending was great.

The last question of the event was from the usual culprit, asking why the President would seek to appoint John Bolton as ambassador to the UN when he “so obviously holds disdain for the institution”. I believe that is a direct quote. I remember it because I was thinking, “How many times does this have to be explained to you morons?” I think Condi was thinking that exact same thing.

Paraphrasing Condi in Kung Fu Kat speak:

Look, you moron. The UN is all fucked up. Everybody knows it’s fucked up. Even the UN knows it’s fucked up. John Bolton is good at explaining to people, in terms they can understand, that they are fucked up and need to do something else. He’s our “fixer”. It needs fixed. He knows how to get the job done. He fixed the nuclear proliferation agreement with Russia, got other countries to chip in on the cost of destroying Russian surplus nukes, and a whole list of other things you morons seem to yell about, but ignore when it’s getting done.

Of course, you’re a moron so maybe things like rape in the Congo, Food For Oil scams, and people telling the UN IAEA to go take a flying leap, letting Sudan chair the human rights council and Iraq, pre invasion, chair the WMD proliferation council is all good with you, but, to normal people, it’s fucked up. In which case, we are going to send in somebody who can get the job done because it’s obvious that the morons up at the UN, based on their recently released reports and recommendations, are just going to keep doing the same fucked up shit.

So, stop asking me moronic questions and let’s get on with fixing the UN.

Of course, she said it much better and with a smile, but the guy was still standing their with his head down, knowing he had just gotten a lecture from the professor about being a moron in her classroom.

She then went on to close with a little elucidation about her experiences as the expert on the USSR at the end of the cold war.

In short, she said that it was not by her power, nor efforts that they were brought down. Everything that happened was because very good decisions had been made in the past that set the foundation for the future fall of the Soviet (Evil) Empire. She further explained in her best professorial lecturing mode that, in 1947, 1948, ’49, etc, with the fall of China to the Communist, the division of Berlin and subsequent crisis, the fall of the last free government in Czechoslovakia to the Communist and any number of events would seemed to have precluded any hope the United States and other democratic entities had of defeating the spread of Communism and toppling the Soviet Empire.

But, they still planned for it, they still acted on that belief and they still set the foundation by establishing anchoring democracies like Germany and Japan, then South Korea, etc, right on the borders of Communist countries, establishing an opposite ideology that focused on freedom and democracy to counter the ideology of Communism.

We know what happened to the major Communist power in the world. Gone. Finished. Finito.

We’re still working on China and North Korea.

She went on to point out that there is nothing in Islam or the middle east that precludes democracy nor demands its fate to be that of the extremists. We have dared to set out on our own anchoring actions, building the foundations of democracy in Iraq and Afghanistan to directly counter the destructive ideology of extremism.

We took a page right out of the old Cold War playbook and turned it on our newest enemy. For all those naysayers out there, stop looking up all the stupid piddly crap about “America did this wrong and this wrong, here, here and here” and got on board with the big strategy.

Failure to do so will make you the funny people in history we laugh at today who insisted that the Communists couldn’t be defeated and that we should learn to live with them. The ones that insisted they weren’t a threat to us. Why I didn’t vote for John F. Kerry amongst other reasons; he was wrong on the most important events in American history. Was I supposed to trust a moron with our future against terrorism and extremism?

They’re the same folks that are telling us that Islamic terrorists don’t really exist, aren’t a threat, it is part of a culture we should learn to accept.

Paraphrasing Condi in Kung Fu Kat speak:

Fuck that!


riceburner147 said...

Kat: I am the BIGGEST of Ms Rice. I may have written this you you b4. She has a SUPERTANKER named after her (Chevron).....Thats way cool. Beautiful and Smarter than anyone. Condi for President 2008 !

riceburner147 said...


Kat said...

Yeah, ricey, I vaguely recall that email and your post on your site re: Ms. Rice. She does rock in a way that many a politician cannot even begin to achieve.

I do believe, however, if she is brilliant as I think, she will avoid the chair of power and go for the power behind the chair.

Then again, I wouldn't mind if she ran. She'd have very few detractors from what I can tell.

I love how she has basically been the author of the new/old policy, taking a page from our NSA general policy for defeating communism and applied to our current situation. It is so obviously the best plan and good plans only ever need a little tweaking. Faster than trying to craft a whole new policy and shown to be an achiever.

Rock on, Condi and tell them like it is. Straight talking. I like that. Plus, I'm kind of a radical change agent kind of person myself so I like folks like her that aren't afraid to shake things up. Just that point alone makes me believe that Michael Bolton is the right guy for the UN as well.

Let them cry today, tomorrow, we conquer the world...mwahahahahaa.

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

It would be amusing to actually see Rice use Katspeak.

riceburner147 said...

(As Condi is speaking b4 the UN General Assembly) Ladies and Gentleman of the UN, I have been recently contacted by "Kat" from Missouri. She has given me a message to be delivered to this august body...."FUCK OFF MORONS" !

Kat said...

hahaha...well, here I was calling people Morons and I read what I wrote last night ...

I said "michael bolton" and it's JOHN Bolton. ....

The sentiment remains.

I imagine after these press conferences, smiling all the while, walking away, Condi is mumbling under her breath..."fucking morons, never get anything right, asking the same damn question, what the hell?"

Neffi said...

Kat, Condi didn't say it better, only more diplomaticaly- you said it better...

Kat said...

Neffi...If I was assigned to the UN, we'd be at war with 50 other countries because I would not hesitate in calling them out on their bullshit.

Well, I'd try some diplomacy. Probably last about an hour or less, then it would be nuclear option.

Kender said...

OMG....Great post....I love Kung-Fu Kat Speak....I am so reading this tonight...first thing when I hit the airwaves.....YOU EFFIN ROCK Kat!

Kat said...

LOL Kender...please just don't mention that I was railing against morons and then called the guy "Michael" bolton. LOL

Must learn to edit rant posts better. LOL

Tom said...

Condi rocks.

Period end of conversation.

Kat said...

Kender...caught the show tonight. You did good. Got a good rant going on. We're going to have to advertise this some more so you get a few crazies on board.

Maybe Ala, who has some left posters will boost it. I'll check.

Tom...definitely. no doubt.

That Dude said...

DOnt u think the issue of her personal life will come up at some point?

riceburner147 said...

Kat: (&tdfp) As much as i admire Condi (she and I are on a first name basis, like you, she calls me "Ricey") I do have a problem with her Pro-Life position. Also, I DO wonder about a never married, 50 YOA woman who (as far as I can tell) is not dating. The "L" word creeps into my mind. I have NO problem with being gay (no idea if she is) and NO problem with a gay candidate. My only problem would be I am sure MANY others do. Please let me say again, this is just pure supposition and most likely incorrect. BUT......(that dude form philly) raises a valid point, people will start to question her about this issue once (IF) she decides to run. It could get in the way of the more important issues.

Kat: btw....are you perhaps (unconciously) attracted to gravelly voiced singers with hook noses and really bad
hair ? Could I be your "Soul Provider?" (kidding)

riceburner147 said...

Kat: completely off topic.....I am watching "West Wing" (love that show) and the commercial was the couple where the guy brings his wifes mother and father over to Europe and re-proposes to her. It kinda brings a tear to my eye (who says guys arent romantic).....even further off-topic, my ALL-Time fav commercial (its kinda old) is a kodak commercial. It starts with the little girl slow dancing w/ her father (she is standing on his feet) and goes thru time to her wedding. She is dancing with her father at the reception and her (new) husband taps the father on the shoulder and dances with his (new) wife. THis one absolutely makes me cry EVERY time. And i have seen it a million times. Ok, i am done running off at the mouth (keyboard, now)

athena said...

I caught the same program on was quite amazing how she answered exactly as I would to all the questions posed to her(well, in a much more intelligent manner).