Friday, April 22, 2005

Stupid People, Liberal Muslim Chics and the Maginot Line

I was checking some of my favorite reads when I stumbled across one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Tonecluster plays the keyboard and records contemporary music as his secondary vocation. During one of this recording sessions, he met the stupidest guitar player in the universe, along with his girlfriend:

I finally ran into the dumbest guitar player in the city yesterday, as we were recording some music for a documentary on the odd migration of Saharan albino hermit spiders. He knows I follow current events (or as he emails occasionally "currant events", which I think may refer to my daily breakfast of plain oatmeal and little sweet dried fruits that look like raisins but are like way smaller. But who knows with this guy) so he brings up topics for ..ah... discussion. Which in his reality is admitted by him to be "I like to push people's buttons and make them think", and coming from a guy whose 'think' button has been out of order since I've known him is grossly insulting. But I digress.

He tunes his guitar and then can't resist: "Dude, they elected some Nazi as Pope." He's not a Nazi, I explain. "Yeah he was, he was like an advisor to Hitler or something". What?!!? Really! He was 18 in 1945.. what'd he advise.. "RUN!"? "Quick, learn Russian!"?

Read the rest, you won't want to miss that conversation.

He also takes note of an internet location that literaly sucks the average IQ of America down to "less than brain dead"

Read and be amused...or scared. This is the future of America, people, and I'm hoping I'm dead or senile before they take over.

I really dig Liberal Muslims and I've met some of the funniest over the internet. We don't always agree on everything, but we share some similar takes on society.

Mavenette at Cynicistan has a humorous take on hijab mystique and its practical purposes:

1. Guys don’t ask you out on a date since you’re dressed like a nun. And yes, that’s a good thing if your family is adamantly against dating. Plus, guys wouldn't rape nuns, making a head scarf a more comfortable accessory than a chastity belt.

2. If you’re a young woman in Iraq, Muslim or Christian, a hijab can keep the extremist cowards from shooting at you. For some reason they’re intimidated by a woman who doesn’t wear one and seem to be forgetting that hijab isn’t one of the 5 Pillars of Islam and that Christian women aren't required to wear head scarves.

3. Hijab comes in handy for the daily “bad hair day” or if you can’t afford to get your hair done.

Yes, you should go read the rest.

One of my favorite new reads which I need to blogroll with about 10 other people is Nadz101, a liberal (small "l") Muslim woman going to college in the US (I believe she's a citizen, but don't quote me on that).

She, too, had a humorous take on the Hijab Squad on campus:

Anyhow, I thought I'd continue what I began with my bashing of the college hippies by discussing another group on campus that annoys the crap out of me - the hijab squad. They're a group of creepily pious Muslim women who go around campus talking about how flawless conservative Islam is and how "empowered" they are by their headgear. Yep, empowered. Everyone seems to love that word now, despite the fact that it's pretty meaningless . Porn actresses talk about how "empowered" they are by their "work". The "actresses" in the recent Charlie's Angels movie (*shudders*, the movie that sucked out my soul) talked about how killing people and blowing things up was about empowerment. And now these little postergirls for male oppression are getting in the act.

Or, Veil This:

It's revealing when these men feel so threatened by a woman wearing pants that she suddenly deserves death. When showing your hair or walking with a confident stride becomes an act of subversion and deviance, you have to wonder what men are so afraid of? How is my hair harming society? Does it release magical rays that make men uncontrollable rapists and instigate "moral decay"? Is it my responsibility to keep you from getting turned on?

And, don't miss her Extremist Test:

6/ Successful democratic elections have taken place throughout the Middle East and secular governments have been elected. What do you think?

A) The minute I regain consciousness, I'll be dancing with joy. Go, democracy, go!
B) Dissapointed - that means Bush might have gotten something right, and that can't happen in my universe. Anyway, we can't impose our government on others, since people in the Middle East are a separate species that hates freedom.
C) So what, no Apolcalypse now? Let's nuke 'em anyway.
D) Nooooo. Does this democracy drivel allow stoning? No? Then fetch me my scimitar!

It goes without saying, you should read her site for a regular dose of anti-idiotarianism.

Hey! Don't forget to visit our reporter, the Sandmonkey, in the parallel Arab Universe (APU), where he shows us that Egyptian Foot In Mouth is just as dangerous as the American version.

Why am I pointing you to all these sites instead of writing something brilliantly funny or deadly serious? 'Cause I am in the middle of reading a ton of information on border control.

I figure if I'm gong to spout off about it, I need to have at least a rudimentary idea of what it's about, what it's going to take and whether millions of Americans will faint dead away when they see the price tag for the things they are demanding.

So far, what I've found is that it is a huge topic and silly little phrases like "protect our borders" is starting to sound a lot like "save the earth". Great idea, but just how are you planning to do that in some manner that doesn't include wiping humans from the face of the earth? Now I know why politicians' eyes glaze over and they start spitting out rhetorical blah-blah-blah that doesn't mean anything or folks who don't know if they want to spit or swallow.

I'm preparing to write something more indepth, but let me tell you what I've read so far:
  • We have thousands upon tens of thousands of border and coastline (did you know that?)
  • We have put an incredible amount of things in place in three years (I had no idea how much we've been doing)
  • It needs more money
  • it needs more people
  • It does not have a large enough and well enough integrated infrastructure to develop all the initiatives and train all the people and support all of the potential platforms that could be used
  • It is going to take time to develop
  • It needs more money
  • Entire Homeland Security Department and all adjunct departments need a massive IT overhaul to integrate their systems and allow quicker egress of info
  • Slow down is in trying to develop a system that will cover all aspects (part determining efficiency; part providing useful data; part department control issues and part "isn't this shiney? we need this")
  • We arrested over 1 million illegal aliens in 2003, what happened to them? (and where exactly do we plan to keep them?)
  • Looking at using new technology developed for military use (UAVs, infared cameras, integrated camera/sensor system that feeds into local bases and "centcom")
  • Needs more money
  • Need more people
  • Need time to develop
  • Must not interfere with commerce because we operate on "just in time" (JIT if you're familiar the term) inventory and even a two days to a week of shut down could put us behind 2 months in product.
  • Already put a ton of things in place at FOREIGN ports to secure cargo BEFORE it gets to America (what a concept: prevention)

I could go on, but I was reading information about the "strategy". There is a big recommendation to more fully integrate Homeland Security Strategy with foreign policy and National Security strategies. It seemed plausible, but I'll let you know.

What I have figured out already is that all those (including me very recently) who say "close the borders" don't have a clue what they are talking about and, I imagine, have some bizarre idea of creating "fortress America" with border patrol, coast guard and other security stationed every few miles on the border in bases where they can monitor it and respond.

Let's play word association.

I say Maginot Line you say...(fill in the blank).



John said...

The pope is a nazi? the left make me sick way too often.

Wanted to invite you to our live chat tonight at my blog. It starts around 8 p.m. EST and last till whenever. We will discuss ways to fight the ACLU, and it is just a great place to chat and meet other bloggers. Hope you can make it.

Kat said...

Hey, Jay...I'll see about dropping by this evening. Thanks for the invite.

Kender said...

You say Magonot line and I say a french created and shortsighted idea.....unlike the maginot line in france we do have a single border to contend with on the north and one on the south....only two countries to deal with, not six, and while it does deal with many miles of open land it is not something that cannot be dealt with, even if it comes at great expense.

Now is not the time to dicker with the costs of securing our borders.

If it is needed, take money from one source, (foreign aid, especially to egypt, comes to mind) and put it into the borders.

Use high tech equipment, use the people of the area, and for all that is good increase the penalties for smuggling substanstially.

Peopel don't mess with the mexican authorities because they know they will end up in jail with no recourse for a long is time, I think, to use some of these same techniques on the people we catch.

Cynica said...

I say Fortress America. DHS could build a wall separating US from Canada and Mexico. But then how would those migrant workers get to work? That sounds Cold War-ish though.

Cynica said...

BTW, Nadz calls herself an atheist (" An Atheist Remembers the Pope"), but she seems to have been around one too many Muslims. She definitely has a funny take on Islam though.

riceburner147 said...

You say Maginot line, I say 2 piles of sandbags on the banks of the Mississippi when the flood stage is predicted to be 22' above. In this scenario it is the best course to bury your head in one of the snadbags. Death will visit you shortly and violently.