Update: Still Here Light Blogging and Job Induced Insanity

Dear friends, acquaintances and occasional innocent by standers who wonder into this blog,

I am still here. I apologize for the short, unexpected hiatus from posting. I was away for the holiday weekend on short notice and did not have a sufficient connection to post to the blog. Then, of course, Monday was the beginning of the new fiscal year for our company which has miraculously emerged from Chapter 11 wholly intact, but now privately owned instead of a plublic company traded on the stock markeet. Which means, of course, that we must all run around like chickens with our heads cut off to insure all possible problems, accounting errors, etc are discovered and thrown back into 2004 general ledger to be attributed to that "other" company so we can start out 2005, not only as a new, privately owned company, but spic and span clean in accounting, hopefully to avoid making the same mistakes that led to committing chapter 11 bankruptcy in the first place.

This means that yours truly, the leading (dare I say "only"?) expert in our division's accounting processes was extra busy trying to insure all of those other problems were resolved as well as attempting to put all of my said expertise of understanding the accounting process in a written format so the new board of directors can see that the numbers we are reporting are real and, yes Virginia, we are actually a viable, profit making division of the company.

Of course, in so proving, hoping like hell that the "new" company does not decide to streamline or "get back to basics" (one of the most over used phrases in business today) and sell off our division for a quick profit to one of our competitors, leaving yours truly unemployed and trying to decide how I will be making that next mortgage payment.

Not that I've heard any rumors to that effect, but I've seen it happen before. "Cannibalized" is a term anyone working for a multi-division company that get's bought out should be familiar with. It's where they keep what they want and get rid of the rest.

Anyway, before I go off on a tangent about my job, I just wanted to let you know that the blog is still active and that I will try to get back to regular posting in the next few days. Possibly even have the next "Why Am I Single" post "High Crimes and Misdemeanors", where we will concentrate on "stupid human couple tricks" and the effects of infidelity, up by this evening.

You may see intermittent posts the rest of this week as I continue down the joyous road of educating people on general ledger practices and the effects of "stupid human employee tricks" on accounting for the 30th time to the same people whose eyes glaze over by the time I have said, "This first line indicates gross revenue" even though they have asked me on 30 previous occasions why that number never lives up to the number they wished for in their minds, created out of thin air or possibly by gazing overly long at the upc bar code label on the bottle of Jack Daniels they keep in their desk drawer. I have wondered many times if the number on the UPC label on the JD bottle has a subliminal message like: "57396232 is the amount of revenue you will expect this month; 57396232 is the amount of revenue you will expect this month; 57396232 is the amount of revenue you will expect this month".

Then I get a phone call at the end of the month, "Kat, I think something is wrong with the revenue report. My projections indicated we should have had 5730623.20 in revenue. Can you research this and get back to me why the booked revenue did not match my projection?"

My answer, "First of all, put down that bottle of Jack and stop staring at the UPC label..." followed by me calling every facility in our division and asking them why they did their latest "stupid human employee trick" and why they did not call me when it occurred so I could be prepared for the 900 questions I was going to get when it appeared out of the blue on the profit and loss statement. And, why, when I send out an email every damned month that says, "please send me a list of all of your abnormal adjustments to revenue, purchases, out of the blue vehicle repairs, etc, etc, etc", did they not include this adjustment so I wouldn't have to call them and make them run around like a chicken with their heads cut off looking up the information after the fact so I could have an answer to this question "yesterday" as that is when all information regarding this subject was needed.

Add to that last part, "Please don't tell me that you told my boss that it was going to happen because, even though you officially report to him, it is me that must review, interpret and report whatever it is you did. When you try to explain it to him personally, it apparently sounds like "blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda" and he is going to make me ask you anyway and prepare a report. So, read my mind and start sending it to me the minute it happens so that you may avoid me flying to your facility one day for the sole purpose of giving you instructions on the difference between Jack Daniel upc labels and your profit and loss statements."

Okay, sorry folks. Went off on a little rant there. For those of you who are not in management or are in a "low level" management position and you think that someone above you is a complete pain in the ass, believe me when I tell you that they are made that way by the people above them and, quite possibly, you.

No offense to any of my readers who are sane and capable of understanding how to operate a business and maintain profitability. All the important things that make sure that you and everyone below or above you stays employed and receives the all mighty paycheck.

Well, I feel better now. If you feel the need to complain about your job, the people at work or the lack of a job, please feel free to leave it in the comment section here.

In the meantime, stay tuned for our next update on the continuing saga of relationships with possible intermittent tales from "My Job In The Twilight Zone".