Two Dreams

I have debated about whether to write here about two dreams that I had. One Sunday and one Monday. They were very disturbing to me. Maybe it would be better to call them "nightmares". What was interesting was that they did not occur in the deep of sleep, but just as I felt myself nodding off.

I always debate about putting certain personal things on a blog that I have largely dedicated to writing about the middle east, the Iraq war and the war on terror, but, thse dreams were not only disturbing, they actually echoed the theme of this blog. War and death. I am going to post them in the inner sanctum if you care to read, or you can just skip on by and go on to the more edifying stuff.

Sunday night, I didn't stay up late. I was tired early for some reason. Maybe it was all the reading about the Arabs and the Zionist. I don't know, but I laid down in bed and turned on the history channel. They were showing a program about the military make up of the Roman Legions. It seemed very interesting, but I felt my eyes close almost immediately. I was laying on my back when I fell asleep. This is unusual because I am one of those people that have to sleep on their side. Maybe because I wake myself up snoring or something, it is an automatic reflex, but not Sunday.

I drifted off to sleep, but not a deep sleep. I could tell it wasn't deep because I think I still heard the TV playing. Then the dream started. I was standing in a kitchen. It had cheap, chocolate brown carpet. The only appliance I could see was straight ahead of me and it was an ugly, 1970's almond color. I was facing it head on and to the left was a long wall and a door partially hidden by the refrigerator. I could tell it went into another room and their were people in there. I couldn't see them, but I heard them talking.

To the right was a long counter and cabinets with a sink. The cabinets were like the cheap pressboard kind with a fake veneer that was equally dark as the carpet. On the ground, squeezed up under the edge of the cabinet overhang on the ground level, were two children. Once boy and one girl. They both had dark hair and olive toned skin. The little boy was wearing yellow pajamas with some sort of little print on them. I don't remember what the girl was wearing.

As I was looking at the two children, a matter of fact voice came from the room in the back. "They're dead", he said. Bizarrely, in my dream, I was thinking to myself. It's not something I think is normal in dreaming. I thought to myself, "these are Iraqi children."

I really don't understand why I made that connection. But, as the voice spoke, I turned slightly away from the children on the floor and looked at the door to this back room. I remember a sort of yellowish light coming from the room and what looked like a soldier in khaki standing there, complete with a helmet and vest. As I looked at the soldier in the door way, I felt someone grab my arm. I looked down and it was the little boy in the yellow pajamas. That's why I remember what he was wearing and not the girl.

He had a hold of my left arm and had his other arm up like he was trying to put it over my shoulder and get me to pick him up. For a few seconds in my dream, I was completely stunned. I looked down in the face of the boy. I can still picture it. His olive toned skin was kind of pale. His eyes were closed. He had dark circles under his eyes and his eye brows were very thick and black. He kept saying something to me while his eyes were closed and acting like he wanted me to pick him up.

I remember putting my arms around him and thinking he was too big to pick up, but I tried to comfort him. At the same time my mind kept thinking, he's dead?

That's when I woke up. Scared the hell out of me in that creepy "it was so real" kind of way. Right this second, maybe it is paranoia induced, but I keep feeling his hand on my arm trying to make me put it around him. It's very strong.

After about 30 mins I went back to sleep and slept soundly. When I woke up Monday morning, it was still on my mind. I kept going over it and trying to figure out why that was in my dreams.

Monday night a similar thing happened although this time I didn't go to sleep until later. But I was watching an episode of "law and order" as I drifted off to sleep. Again, I hadn't been asleep long when I had my second dream/nightmare.

I dreamed I was walking across a battle field. I could tell it was a battle field because there were things that resembled little fortified foxholes and barricades with fire and smoke out towards the back of the scene. I could see the graish metal building in the back, like a warehous. About that time, I notice three soldiers laying on the ground behind an ereceted barricade that looked like palm trees. One soldier was laying across the barricade with his arms and hands hanging down in front. There was blood on his helmet and parts of his uniform that I could see.

I walked towards the soldier and the blood became more noticable. I must have walked up to the soldier because his helmet was suddenly right in my face and, not only could I see the blood, I saw that he had an insignia that looked like sargent stripes to me. Just as I bend down to get a better look, he raises his head and his helmet takes up most of by dream vision. Then, he starts lifting his head and I am staring at the black emptiness of his face. there is nothing there but a blackness that seems to cover what should have been his face. I am staring into black nothingness and all I could do was wake up.

Anybody here an amatuer dream analyst? O r should I quit this voluntary night job and do something else for awhile. These were real drems and they are very disturbing to me. I can' sleep tonight because I don't want to have another dream.