tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post110246108399695638..comments2024-03-23T07:49:50.940-05:00Comments on The Middle Ground: Why Am I Single? Let Me Count The WaysSeven: Girl Meets BoyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post-1102659155866943162004-12-10T00:12:00.000-06:002004-12-10T00:12:00.000-06:00Good posting - again. Had to laugh about the wome...Good posting - again. Had to laugh about the women quizzing you about living in Kanasas City. I've taken a few trips back east, Philly was one of the places. I too was quizzed, quite seriously, about were we still having 'Injun' problems. Like you, I semi-stared at these people like what planet did you just step off of, till I finally realized that they were serious.<br /><br />It's akin to folks thinking about Alaska and equating it with Eskimos. Yes folks, there are Eskimos in Alaska but you have to search to find them. Relatively few live in villages out in the sticks and mostly they use ski-doos to get around in. Hope I didn't burst anyone's bubble, I won't mention how Hawaii has changed (hint - dugout canoes aren't the main means of transportation anymore).<br /><br />As for men/boys with manners - neither of my girls goes out with a fellow unless he's spent time over at our place first. If he is too chicken or if he comes over and is impolite to me, my daughter or her mother, the poor dude has to contend with me; and I can be a nasty SOB when I want to be (not a good idea to tick off an ArchAngel). As for the ever popular, "We'll get together behind your dad's back." They always get caught, so it never pays. I can't control what they do, see or hang with at school, but the rest of the time I've got VERY good tabs on where they are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post-1102564456395362132004-12-08T21:54:00.000-06:002004-12-08T21:54:00.000-06:00I tried to get into the country/western bar scene ...I tried to get into the country/western bar scene particularly because there were so many more women of apparently much higher quality than in the hip-hop and rock bars, and while the techno dance clubs also had a lot of women you couldn't communicate without screaming your throat raw over the music. But, I just could NOT deal with the music, over time, and eventually gave up on that scene. It just wasn't me.<br /><br />When it comes to chivalry, I think a lot of modern people misunderstand how chivalry evolved. "Chevalerie" literally meant "being a Knight", and referred to a code of courtly behavior governing a knight's social graces when around ladies of sufficiently high birth. The fulcrum of all these rules and regulations of knightly etiquette was respect. It wasn't to imply that women were weak or unable to fend for themselves or any of that, but simply that when in the company of a Duchess or a Countess or the daughter of an aristocratic merchant, y'don't just grab her and drag her onto your lap and start groping her, the way you might with, say, a serving wench at an inn. If anything, the code of chivalry implied the female objects of the behavior WERE powerful, and could ruin a knight's day if he mistreated her in front of her protective male kinsmen who could command armies and fleets of fire-galleys. The famous scene recounted in folklore of Sir Francis Drake covering a mud puddle with his cloak so that Queen Elizabeth wouldn't get her shoes dirty to walk over it, that wasn't a gesture to imply her "weakness", au contraire, it was a payment of symbolic homage to her POWER. He was implying to the world that this was a woman who had defeated her chief rival, another woman, Duchess Marie de Guise, Dowager of Scotland, and was not a woman to be trifled with.<br /><br />What eventually evolved with the partial decline of aristocratic distinctions among the classes, was an extension of the code of chivalry downward into the lower societal and economic classes, at least nominally, to where one opened the door, not only for duchesses and countesses and the Queen's Ladies in Waiting, but for ALL women. It was supposed to be an extension of courtly respect to all ladies, regardless of social "rank".<br /><br />And so the big irony is that feminism flip-flopped it, and suggested that the way a Queen would be treated, who could have a man beheaded if he looked at her the wrong way, that was "disrespectful" of a woman's... "independance".<br /><br />This is how feminism went very, very, incredibly wrong. Now you have boys practically date-raping girls, and it's treated as "expected", because the chivalry that kept men in awe of female power, was removed as a tool in the feminine toolbox for keeping men in line.<br /><br />PC has tried to replace chivalry with a chivalric code of its own, (the whole "no means no" paradigm), but it has so little of the SYMBOLIC trappings of feminine authority, that it's no wonder that it doesn't work in modern social settings, such as college frat parties. Without the symbolic respect, you end up eroding the real respect where it counts the most.<br /><br />As the father of a 16 year-old daughter, I perhaps more than anyone I know, have cause to lament the fall of "old world" culture. And you can best believe, any boy who wants to date her WILL be getting a pop quiz on what "chivalry" means. He'd better study.Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Fileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847781147692094361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post-1102536873248744972004-12-08T14:14:00.000-06:002004-12-08T14:14:00.000-06:00I think what some women think (as I've been a part...I think what some women think (as I've been a party to these discussions) is that these little things some how signify that a guy thinks that a woman is unable to take care of herself and that he must do it for her. It goes back to the early stages of the women's lib movement in the 60's and 70's. Something about it signifying the "little woman" syndrome. And, I have known a few men that still believe in that sort of behavior and it is a matter of controlling the woman, but only if she allows it to go there. <br /><br />This is where we get into the idea of victimhood: do we make it ourselves sometimes or is it completely the other person's fault?<br /><br />Personally, I think that it's a manner of showing that somebody cares for you and it's not just men that do it. In the same token that a woman might fix a man his favorite meal when he comes to dinner, buys him a tie or special shirt or wears something like clothes or perfume that a guy likes, it's just showing that you care for that person. These things are like little compromises, a little give and take.<br /><br />I think that people who are unable to accept these things are unable to do the give and take. Lord knows I had my own little foibles. Frankly, I can mow the lawn, change my own oil, hammer a nail, pump the gas and deal with the finance guy myself, but, if I was in a relationship or even dating someone that wanted to mow my lawn for me, I wouldn't freak out. Actually, I'd be pretty damned happy if the guy mowed my lawn or changed my oil. Those aren't things that I necessarily enjoy, they are things I do by necessity.<br /><br />I think a person that is able to accept these things are people that are secure in their own place and position. They aren't threatened by it. It doesn't change them.<br /><br />On the otherhand, I really have no patience for simpering women who can't even pump their own gas, largely because I've seen it as some sort of game they are playing with the guy to achieve some backhanded control of their relationship. The "helpless" woman can be just as bad as the ultra liberated variety.<br /><br />Well adjusted people can do for themselves but don't mind accepting courtesy and assistance. That's basically why I comment on women who might need some sort of therapy to deal with their issues or fears of male dominance.<br /><br />Women should suck it up a little. In some sense, our movement to liberate has also resulted in some basic common courtesies being lost. Not that I oppose the struggle the women had that came before me. Without them, I might be somebody's secretary instead of the mid level executive I am today.<br /><br />I think that the pendulum probably swung out a little too far and needs to come back.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05208095650375780838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post-1102527281381851812004-12-08T11:34:00.000-06:002004-12-08T11:34:00.000-06:00"I’ll pause now and tell you, I don’t care how dam..."I’ll pause now and tell you, I don’t care how damned “liberated” a woman is. If she is not impressed by a guy with manners, she is either fooling herself or she’s a complete b* that thinks all men suck and men should run away from them as fast as possible. They will make a guy’s life a living hell. I mean, it’s one thing if a girl protests a little, but if she’s downright adamant that the guy doesn’t hold the door, open the door, pull out her seat or anything else, she has issues. Major issues. "<br /><br />I'll add to that: Ladies, give yourself a chance to be impressed. I've been on more than one date where my date has launched herself to the restaurant door, squeaked by me to get to the table (and chair) first, and grabbed the car door handle at the same time I did.. thereby making it impossile for me to enjoy a man's privilidge of manners, if not small-moment chivalry of opening restaurant doors, pulling out chairs, and opening car doors. Maybe this is an L.A. thing, where the speed of life is fast-fast-fast.<br /><br />But, hey.. we're not all slugs. It won't kill you to see whether the guy actually opens the door before grabbing it yourself.. wait for him to get the car all tucked in with the valet before you assume he's not paying attention.Jason Rubensteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09028465657976012846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7152221.post-1102463324180581792004-12-07T17:48:00.000-06:002004-12-07T17:48:00.000-06:00What was today Kat?
I'm disapointed, I expected mo...What was today Kat?<br />I'm disapointed, I expected more folks from the 'right' to remember.1138https://www.blogger.com/profile/05236610360430502600noreply@blogger.com